During the last week of term, one of the Middle School teachers received this email from a Year 7 student, who had just discovered that she would be in this teacher's class next year. The email is published unedited (just in case you were thinking my grammar and punctuation had a little bit to be desired!) Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent :)
Mrs. Holder,
as my teacher next year i have a few warnings for you. I love you and
sometimes i may not show it but i do, i get really angry and i just can't
control it but i don't mean to upset you or anyone else. i will often get
sad and just be really awful to be around but i will try not to be. i
will be really annoying and probably frustrate you to the limit and you
might hate me, but i really don't mean to be.
And if you haven't noticed i don't like not doing well on things, so if
you have any thing that get my marks up or extra activities to put on my
report card that would be great! And i would also really like you to be
hard and strict on me and make me do everything the way it HAS to be.
Love Ya miss xx
oh and i don't mean to get frustrated with other people, but people
really rant my type :)
Now there are a number of ways in which this Tween Teacher could have responded - indeed, she need not have responded at all. However, her response was so perfect that I asked if I could share it.
Hi Paris,
As my student next year I have a few warnings for you. I love good manners
and, because I always use good manners, I expect the people around me to use
good manners as well. I also respect the people I love but, in return, I
expect that these people show me the respect that I deserve. You see, I do
not expect anything from you that I am not willing to do myself. I will
not ask you to pick up rubbish for no reason if I haven't already picked
some up myself, except if you aren't wearing a hat. I do not expect you to
work hard on an activity if I haven't worked hard on planning and
preparing it. I do not expect you to achieve good grades on something I do
not understand myself.
I guess what I am saying is that you and I will argue next year but I want
you to understand something. You are growing up and very quickly becoming
a young adult, and with this comes different expectations. I come to school
sometimes and I am upset, angry or feeling down about something, there may
even be times when someone in the class has frustrated me beyond my
breaking point and I would like nothing better than to tell them exactly
how I feel, but because I am an adult I can't. These are skills that you
need to learn - I am in no way saying that you have to put up with people
treating you poorly, I am merely saying that you need to find a different
way of dealing with it. This is something we will work on together.
I am willing to help you improve your marks and deal with all the other
stuff if you are willing to help yourself. I want to help you not feel sad
but when you do, instead of pushing people away how about you sit down and
have a chat with me or someone else that you trust. It really does help to
know that someone understand what you are going through and they love you
enough to just listen.
I know that a lot of students believe that I am very strict but I believe
that I am firm, but fair. If you do the wrong thing there is a consequence
but if you choose to do the right thing there is a good consequence.
I will not, at any stage, tolerate you being awful to me or the people
around you, but I would also never hate you. I will get angry with you but
that doesn't mean I won't still love you. All this means is that I am
human and so are you.
I want you to make the decision that Year 8 is going to be your year of
change. The year you stop looking at all the negatives and start looking
at the positives. Instead of saying "I can't do this!", think to yourself, "At
the moment, this is difficult but I am working to get better at it". Instead
of saying, "Everybody hates me and annoys me", try saying "I am so lucky to
have my best friend, Mrs Holder and Miss Matthew who will listen to anything I
have to say".
It is going to be a great year and I am so excited about all the great
stuff I have planned for us. All I ask from you is to believe in yourself
and talk to me rather than getting angry. I know you are an amazing young
lady and I love that you get my sense of humour.
Be excited about Year 8, 2015 - it will go so quickly and before long it
will be time for you to move on - let's enjoy EVERY second.
Love ya too xx
Mrs Holder
How lucky am I, to be working with REAL Tween Teachers?!
